OTTAWA – A new report has confirmed it is quite possible, and in fact logical, to hate both Pierre Poilievre and Justin Trudeau.
“Contrary to what Conservative partisans believe, we can criticize Poilievre for having the vibe of a guying standing behind the bully in an 80s movie while cozying up to the far-right even if we don’t think Trudeau is supes dreamy,” said Ian Standin of The Mooseton.
“And we can find Trudeau’s milquetoast pleas for restraint over a genocide he is actively supporting infuriating even if we don’t want to hand the country over to the Tories.”
Holding negative feelings towards both racist Milhouse Poilievre and smug twat Trudeau at the same time is a phenomenon that has astounded the nation’s political and media classes, despite it being possibly the only sane reaction to the events of the last few years.
“The media thinks choosing between Trudeau and Poilievre is like choosing between vanilla and chocolate milkshakes. But in reality it’s like choosing between a chocolate milkshake that went bad in 2019 and a milkshake that only looks like vanilla, but is in fact a witches brew of Calamine Lotion, Horseradish and Puss,” said undecided voter Miles Avatarforthepersonwritingthis.
At press time, Jagmeet Singh can fuck right off too.
