OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reports that he is considering running for leadership of a different country, following 9 years of “getting his feet wet” in Canada.
“It hasn’t always been easy, but I really think I’m starting to get a knack for this,” explained Trudeau from his office on Parliament Hill, “It’s like that opening level in a video game where they teach you all the basic moves. I think I’m ready now to do this for real.”
Sources report that the PM has referred to his nearly a decade in office as “a pretty good learning curve”, and that he feels a need to move on because “recently I’ve been crushing it.”
“Oh yeah, I’m on fire lately,” Trudeau noted. “Everywhere I go, huge crowds want to congratulate me on my handling of Gaza, the ArriveCan app was a slam dunk, and I’m not sure what’s going on with that lab in Winnipeg, but when was the last time anybody talked about Winnipeg? I must be doing something right!”
“Not to mention, under my leadership Canada finally has a Law & Order franchise of its own,” Trudeau added. “My work here is done.”
Though Trudeau is confident that he would be “going out on a high”, the experienced PM admits that he has presided over some missteps. “While I’ve been PM, Canadians have seen a 132% increase in the average mortgage payment, and I promise I only meant for it to get up to 125%. That’s my bad, but nobody’s perfect.”
Looking forward, Trudeau insists that he could “take the fundamentals” he has learned in Canada, and “really impress the citizens of the next country I lead.” Sources indicate Trudeau is already planning a Lebron James-style prime time special to build suspense over which country he plans to take his talents to next.
“Maybe I could run for Prime Minister of a country that’s a bit warmer,” Trudeau mused, “How do you say ‘Sunny Ways’ in Aruban?”
In a related story, following the news that he plans to run for leadership of a different country, Justin Trudeau’s approval rating among Albertans shot up to an all time high of 100%.
