OTTAWA – With the carbon tax expected to soon meet its demise in Parliament, the Liberal party is planning an environmentally friendly burial for the departed bill.
“We’re going to make sure the carbon tax has the positive impact on the environment in death that it lacked in life,” explained Minister of the Environment and Climate Change Stephen Guilbuert, as he prepared vegan sandwiches for the tax’s wake. “We’ll be sad to see it go, but hopefully it will get to annoy the cheap climate change deniers one last time at least when this gets added to their regular taxes”
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau says he’s devastated to see a bill gone so soon but he will do his best to eulogize his fallen brainchild. “I know they say to never get attached to you taxes before the first few fiscal years, but the carbon tax had so much potential.”
“I just wish we wrote it on biodegradable paper so we could compost it, instead of just recycling, like it wanted,” Trudeau added, tearfully.
Currently, plans for the funeral include speeches from the CRA, the planting of a memorial tree and then scattering the shredded remains of the legislation over the Ottawa River. The latter event will be followed by the immediate fishing of the shredding out of the river to avoid pollution.
In typical Liberal fashion, a scandal has formed around the memorial service, with leaked documents show the Trudeau government allegedly planned to create the bill knowing they wouldn’t get taxed for the carbon.
