BRANDON, MB – The Tourism Board of Manitoba had prematurely ended a campaign designed to draw travelers to the city of Brandon, Manitoba, citing ‘unforeseen circumstances.’
Mackenzie Beal, the program’s brainchild, expresses confusion over the failure.
“I just don’t know what went wrong”, exclaims Beal exasperated. “Our research online showed a huge amount of buzz around the campaign with tens of thousands of people tweeting ‘Let’s Go Brandon’ in support. Some die-hard ‘Wheat City’ fans even getting the slogan decaled on their clothes or the back of their pickup trucks.”
“Obviously displaying their excitement at getting to visit Manitoba’s second-largest city and main agricultural processing hub. What else could it even mean?”
But according to local sources, when the proverbial gates were thrown open only a handful of people actually arrived. A small convoy of flag-waving campervans did show up initially, presumably waiting for the start of the Royal Manitoba Winter Fair, but departed soon after realizing the residents were happy to see them.
Duke Wilson, one of the few to remain with his family, comments. “This wasn’t really what I was expecting at all, but my kids loved the Westman Reptile Gardens and Commonwealth Air Training Plan Museum and tonight we’re going to dine at one of Brandon’s over 100 world-class restaurants.
“We’ve completely fallen in love with this city and will definitely be coming back!” adds Wilson. “Plus most of the people here are white too which is a big relief.”
While the campaign has failed to have its desired impact, ‘Wheat City’s tourism luck may be on the upswing as the town of Fuck Joe Biden, Missouri has reportedly expressed interest in becoming a sister city.
