MILTON, PA – The popular meal-adjacent product Chef Boyardee has announced its plan to simply rebrand to “Depression Chow.”
Marketing director Joshua Alden explained that the change coincides with the start of November to kick-off peak depression season. “How better to ring in the start of your seasonal affective disorder than with a piping hot can of something that approximates ravioli?”
Alden and his team strategized the change to promote better engagement with their target demographic.
“According to our market research, people buy Chef Boyardee after specific life events such as: a bad date, an unsuccessful job interview, seeing an ex with a new partner, or a rejection of their screenplay.”
“We wanted to make it as simple as possible for people in that type of foggy head space to select a product that’s going to deliver what they need.”
Some convenience store owners say they would like regulations that require the chow to be behind the counter. One such owner, Denis Picard explained, “It would be good to require an extra step just to give customers the chance to reconsider. Sometimes when I’m ringing up a can of Beefaroni, I want to ask, are you really sure you want to do this?”
Other changes in the rebrand include a redesign of Chef Boyardee himself to make him appear more haggard and apathetic, the addition of a question mark after the ingredient “meat” to better reflect the product’s contents, and a new tagline that references the old name: “Boy-are-you-depressed.”
