WINNIPEG – An official report from the Government of Canada states the best way to know if the dishwasher is running is to open it while simultaneously asking “is the dishwasher on?”
“The results were unanimous,” said Naledi Ali of the Department of Efficiency, who led the study. “We tested everything – display screens, countdown timers, and even little jingles that let you know when the wash cycle is done. However, nothing could compare to the speed and accuracy of blindly opening the door of the dishwasher mid-cycle and letting the water spritz out everywhere.”
“The problem is, my dishwasher is so quiet that I can barely tell if it’s on!” stated Brian Ray, a control group participant whose partner routinely turned the dishwasher on every day, at the same time. According to the report, approximately seven to ten minutes later Ray would ask if the dishwasher was put through after finding the morning coffee mug he left on the window sill.
“I didn’t open it up all the way,” added Ashika Patel, another participant whose trial tested the effectiveness of sticking a STOP! THE DISHWASHER IS ON magnet to the door. “Less than an inch – just enough to slip a rogue spoon in. I’d say 7 out of 10 times it landed in the cutlery cage and sometimes it fell under the bottom rack.You just gotta risk it because it can’t wait until the morning!”
Ali and her team have also experimented with an alarm system programmed to go off every 30 seconds with a voice loudly stating “the dishwasher is on” but participants would just try to open the door super quick, resulting in a face full of steam. “On the plus side, it’s a helpful reminder that you’re wearing glasses.”
Ali has announced additional studies, including whether the best way to test if the iron is ready is to touch it and give yourself a second degree burn.
