EDMONTON – The Edmonton Eskimos will change its name after the team’s corporate leadership discovered that having money is more important than being racist.
In the wake of sponsors threatening to leave the team, members of the executive staff gathered in a press conference to show the public what this decades-long controversy has taught them.
“We would like to offer our most sincere apology to the community that our offensive and colonial name has affected; the people of Belairdirect,” said Chris Presson, CEO and President of the Edmonton team. “We looked from the bottom of our wallets and decided that now was the time to change our name. I can assure you that all of us on the team now have a deep appreciation for car and home insurance and how much they give back to the team.”
The team announced they conducted deep and meaningful consultation and dialogue with brands giving them money for advertising. The team will strike a commission to study how they can reconcile with their premium level sponsors.
“We reflected and calculated how much money would be lost if we kept calling ourselves the Eskimos, and that’s what matters most,” added Presson.
In a further sign of reconciliation, Edmonton will begin each game with a land acknowledgement to Boston Pizza, The Brick, and Coors Light.
