TORONTO – In an unlikely yet widely celebrated union, an Audrey Hepburn poster married a Bob Marley poster at an intimate ceremony held in a first year Ryerson student’s dorm this weekend.
The couple met a few days after move-in when they were tacked across each other. Marley immediately used the chance encounter to pop the question he had been dying to ask for years but circumstances and 27 year post-mortem age gap had prevented.
The bride wore a timeless black dress complete with a large string of pearls, and the groom looked handsome in a demure green, yellow, and red colour palette accented with a live lion exploding from the side of his head. Both parties were smoking excessively, Hepburn from her foot-long cigarette holder and Marley from his endless supply of joints.
Noted guests in attendance included the entire cast of the Boondock Saints, Marilyn Monroe, Che Guevara, Muhammad Ali, the Beatles, Kurt Cobain, Rick and Morty, and Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction.
The ceremony was officiated by close personal friend of the couple, Edvard Munch’s The Scream who appeared to be very moved.
The proprietor of the room wherein the ceremony occurred, first year sociology major George Postori, was asked to comment on the joyous occasion: “All the best to the lovely couple. I don’t regret sinking $400 into the Imaginus Poster Sale if it means that these two could have met.”
At the reception, sources report quite a bit controversy erupted when a drunk George Costanza stripped down to his tighty-whities and attempted to makeout with Princess Leia.
