EDMONTON – Comrade Jason Kenney, member of the United Commissar Party is demanding Premier Notley’s politburo decrease oil production by 10 percent.
Comrade Kenney made a stirring speech railing against the bourgeoisie of free market capitalists who exploit the struggles of the oilsands proletariat.
“The government must intervene and seize the means of production for the greater good,” said Kenney standing on the back of a pickup truck while donning a grey uniform. “Controlling output is part of our continuing class struggle, which is not an inevitability, but a necessity. Workers of the gas and oil world unite!”
Comrade Kenney also urged Premier Notley to purge the government of counter-revolutionary environmentalists and send them to work camps in Saskatchewan.
“Soon, everyone in this province will be required to work in our collectivized oil rigs for the betterment of the motherland,” added Kenney.
Meanwhile, the Premier is planning to announce the nationalization of railcars as a part of her provincial Five Year Plan, which comes months after nationalizing the Trans Mountain pipeline in cooperation with Chairman Trudeau.
Analysts predict that the province will resort back to free market principles and philosophy once Brent Crude goes above $50 a barrel.
