WASHINGTON – The White House has released a statement authorizing the Federal Emergency Management Agency to redirect all of its resources to the destructive impact of Paul Manafort’s cooperation with Robert Mueller’s investigation.
“FEMA has been given a directive that their singular purpose this week is the extensive clean up effort in the wake of the havoc wreaked by the President’s former campaign chair,” said White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders in a press briefing. “Rest assured, the President is making a massive federal response to this particular disaster his top priority.”
The Trump Administration is still struggling to recover from Tropical Shitstorms Papadopoulos and Cohen, which caused a massive power outage that left panicked members of Trump team in the dark. Sewage backups continue to flow out of the President’s mouth.
While Trump insists the toll from that disaster has been “overblown by Democrats to make the President look bad,” the White House remains optimistic that FEMA can handle this upcoming relief effort.
“We’re certainly getting a lot of practice,” the statement concluded.
