LOS ANGELES – Everyone wants to know how actress, heiress and noted WOFPSWF (woman over forty people still wanna fuck) Simone Star maintains her youthful appearance, and finally her secret is out: attitude.
“It’s all about a healthy mindset,” Star said, sipping a $400 organic smoothie prepared by her personal chef. “I just get up everyday, throw back my silk sheets, take a quick dip in a jacuzzi tub filled with Creme de la Mer while I greet the sunrise from my 9000 sq.ft. mansion overlooking the ocean, and say, ‘I’m not gonna age today.’ And then I don’t!”
Star, the daughter of a billionaire oil tycoon and millionaire supermodel, recently received a six figure advance on her book about how the power of positive thinking keeps her looking so young and doesn’t understand why other people have such a hard time maintaining their appearance into middle age.
“People often come to me and ask how I do it,” she said. “They ask, do you have a painting of yourself in the attic that keeps getting older, or do you get experimental stem-cell therapy to elongate your telomeres, or do you pay vast sums to have the blood of healthy young teenagers injected into your veins? All I can do it laugh. Of course I do. But it’s really all about mindset.”
At press time, Star was making a three hour appointment with her dermatologist because she thought she saw a pore.