TORONTO – In a technological breakthrough that is set to revolutionize the landscaping industry, scientists at Black and Decker have invented a leaf blower that is able to be operated after the vast majority of humankind wakes up.
“Although I’m unable to disclose the exact technology, we have managed to overcome the age old problem that leaf blowers won’t work when the sun is out” stated Black and Decker research head Constance Xiao. “It’s like breaking the sound barrier, everyone said it couldn’t be done but we did it.”
The prototype was tested by Dorothy Koots, known as the Chuck Yeager of hardware, who has been praised for risking her own life for scientific progress. Researchers were unsure of the impact that technology would have so the tests took place in the Mojave Desert and Koots was given poison pills in case the experimental leaf blower caused insanity.
“I was never mad when someone woke me up with a leaf blower. I understand how important it is to move leaves from one area of the yard to another area yard. What are we going to do, walk on leaves?” stated Oakville resident Kaitlin Moors “But I am excited to maybe be able to sleep until 7:30 am on my day off.”
The technology has wide ranging implications for the products Black and Decker could make including a kettle that will boil even if watched, a microwave that can be used successfully on the first time and crockpots that people can own without constantly talking about them.
When reached for comment local landscapers stated that the new technology would not impact when they chose to operate their leaf blowers.
