TORONTO — A new poll reveals unanimous support for Doug Ford and the Ontario Progressive Conservative Party from BMO and Simplii Financial customers affected by the recent data breach.
“I’ve never seen anything like it; the PC approval rating shot up almost immediately after the hack,” said VeraCiti CEO Felicia Veraggio, whose firm conducted the survey. “Women and men in every age category declared their strong intention to vote for the PC party, rated Doug Ford as the best premier and as the party leader they’d most like to solve captchas for them.”
The news came as another blow to the beleaguered Liberals, whose recent ticket-reselling laws cost them significant support from StubHub bots.
“I’m very Love the Douglas Ford. He stands up on the little guys,” Jocelyn Waters said via WhatsApp. “I am sincerely Mrs. Jocelyn Waters, 53, who lives in the Ontario, Canada riding of King-Vaughan and my chequing account number is 001 3***-7**.”
The Conservative campaign did not comment on the poll. But at a campaign stop in Sarnia, Doug Ford announced his government would allow personal records and financial data to be sold in corner stores.
At press time, Ford was being endorsed by a Nigerian prince requesting your assistance moving funds from frozen bank accounts of prominent officials in their last military government.
