Parkland, Florida – While visiting with survivors of the tragic school shooting in Florida, President Trump refused to call for gun control, and instead assured Americans, “the only thing that can stop a bad mentally ill guy with a gun is a good mentally ill guy with a gun”.
Trump, who recently repealed an Obama era law that prevented people with certain mental illnesses from acquiring firearms, went on to describe his plan to combat America’s unprecedented wave of mass shootings by arming more mentally ill individuals, provided they appear to be “good guys.”
“These terrible crazy shooter guys, they’re nuts,” the 45th President of the United States explained to reporters. “The only people who can possibly understand how they think are other crazy shooter guys, obviously, but like good crazy shooter guys. Don’t you people ever watch movies?”
Trump announced plans to partner with members of the National Rifle Association to provide AR-15 semiautomatic rifles for mentally ill Americans, provided they promise that they are not bad guys and “look alright.”
“I’m sure the guns will only end up in the hands of the good kind of nutjobs,” Trump later clarified.
NRA President Wayne LaPierre praised President Trump’s initiative, saying, “Anything that gets more guns into the hands of Americans is good for the NRA. And, possibly, also good for America.”
In addition to refusing to discuss gun control, Trump blamed the students and teachers for going into a school in the first place.
“Every idiot knows that’s where school shootings happen.”
