Finally. After months of public pressure, the Toronto Police have finally announced their new police cruisers will no longer come painted with the Dixieland Stars and Bars.
“The public seems to feel some discomfort about the all-grey stealth cruisers,” said the car’s designer, adjusting his police-issue ten-gallon hat. “Personally, I don’t see the problem, but hey, I’m part of it.”
Critics of the all-grey cruisers say the colour makes them hard to spot for community members in need, and that the huge confederate flag painted on the roof makes some people of colour feel, somehow, that the Toronto Police might not exactly be on their side.
“We were getting a lot of complaints about those klan hood ornaments,” said one officer. “That’s why we knew it was time to replace them with tiny statuettes of Klan founder Nathan Bedford Forrest.”
At press time, the Toronto Police had also decided to bring back Blinky, the police outreach car, only this time without the blackface.
