TORONTO – After retiring from the CBC’s flagship broadcast news program, The National, journalist and Canadian icon Peter Mansbridge has taken a new job as lead nude anchor on the Toronto-based internet network, Naked News.
“I feel like I can finally bring the news the level of transparency it deserves,” said Mansbridge, loosening his belt while maintaining an authoritative, trustworthy eye contact.
“You don’t know how many times I’ve been in the middle of a long-haul live newscast – whether it was the shooting on Parliament Hill or the election of Justin Trudeau – that I’ve had to fight the urge to slowly disrobe in front of the camera to break free from these cloth shackles imposed by society,” he continued, while skillfully peeling every layer of clothing from his body in a way that was both natural and alluring.
“Full disclosure: This was the only exclusive exposé the CBC would never let me do,” he said gesturing to his glorious nakedness.
Naked News, the members-only all-nude daily news broadcast, says Mansbridge approached them earlier this year, offering to work for a fraction of his current salary, eager to be the first to break the glass ceiling of senior men hosting an all-nude internet subscription based news services.
“Our target demographic is a bit iffy about this,” said Naked News producer, Kyle Shannehey. “But he nailed his audition. It was obvious he had been practicing stripping while reading the news in front of a mirror for years.’”
“And to be fair, Peter Mansbridge hosting Naked News makes about as much sense as Naked News actually existing at all, so…”
At press time, Naked News says that despite numerous attempts to insert himself into the program, Rex Murphy will not appear on the network for his proposed series of scathing nude editorials entitled Rex Murphy Naked Talking.
