EDMONTON – In response to party supporters criticizing a gay staffer for participating in an Edmonton Pride parade, the Wildrose Party has announced that staff will be allowed to celebrate their identity as “morally corrupt sinners”.
“After listening to all supporters, we have come up with a reasonable code of conduct that will allow our LGBTQ members to proudly identify themselves so that they may be shamed by other members,” explained a Wildrose Party official outside the Alberta Legislature. “We have no problem with non-heterosexual relationships within our party so long as they explicitly acknowledge that what they’re doing is an abomination in the eyes of God.”
Party members who wish to express their sexual identity will be required to wear Wildrose Party rainbow-coloured shirts with a choice of three slogans: “My lifestyle does not reflect the values of the party!”, “Sinner” or “I’m just going through a phase.”
In related news, Alberta PC Leader Jason Kenney was finishing a list of every high school student in Alberta he suspects to be a member of a Gay-Straight Alliance and preparing to call their parents.
