TORONTO – An entire municipality is reeling after a tourist from Calgary made an observation that has radically altered how millions of people view their day to day existence.
Geoffrey Thompson, 55, was meeting his nephew in the downtown neighbourhood of Liberty Village when he noted that “Toronto sure has a lot of condos.” Geoffrey also observed, much to the delight of his nephew and several onlookers, that there weren’t as many condos when he visited Toronto as a ten year old and that the golf course next to the skydome was gone.
“No one had ever pointed out that Toronto has a lot of condos before” said city planner Jennifer Keesmaat “I can’t believe we didn’t notice. I can only thank God that someone as smart and insightful as Geoffrey blessed Toronto with his knowledge.”
The observation spread quickly across all forms of media. The hashtag #somanycondos and #Geoffisgenius trended on both facebook and twitter. All of Toronto’s daily newspapers had the quote verbatim on the front page with the exception of the Toronto Sun, who ran “Liberal elite seeks to destroy Toronto real estate market”
Mayor John Tory called an impromptu press conference to address how the city will respond to the amount of condos. “Obviously we will have to change public policy now that we have this new information. But before we start counting the condos or determining who is buying, building and living these condos, we must wait for the results of the year long study to determine what is and isn’t a condo. Are we in a condo right now?” Asked Tory as he gestured to the interior of city hall.
Several academic papers have been written about the economic and cultural ramifications of Geoffrey’s observation. “The closest parallel is when Martin Luther nailed the 95 Theses to the door of the church.” said University of Toronto history professor Suki Wu “but to make make to close a comparison would be to underplay the true magnitude of the knowledge that Geoff imparted to humanity.”
At press time Geoffrey has again rocked the city with his observation on how the TTC is often late.
