CALGARY – Researchers at the University of Calgary have developed the first effective form of oral male birth control: a pastrami sandwich with extra onions.
“We’re not exactly sure how it works,” said head researcher Dr. William Hardy. “We just know that there was a 0% chance of pregnancy when our subjects took one Pastraminaz™ before or during foreplay.”
Some are concerned that Pastraminaz™ is too costly for the general population. The drug retails at $5.99 per dose and doctors recommend at least one dose per potential sexual encounter. However, drug giant Pfizer says that customers can also spend an extra $2 to get a combo including sour cream and onion chips and soup.
“While Pastraminaz™ is an incredible step forward, there are still a few side effects,” said Dr. Hardy. “Taking too much Pastraminaz™ can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, and severe mouthwatering.”
The birth control will be available at all drug stores starting in February of 2017, or right now at Strazo’s Italian Eatery on Main and Elm.
