After months of rumours of infidelity and drug fuelled blowouts, culminating in a leaked sex tape between Pac-Man and Dig Dug, Ms Pac-man and Pac-Man have announced their intention to divorce, with the former returning to her family name of Svarkowski.
“I feel that keeping my husband’s name, even in a professional setting, would be disingenuous.” said the video game icon in an interview with Nintendo Power magazine “Besides Atari should know I’m the real star of the franchise.”
A source inside the law firm of Blinky, Inky, Pinky, Sue & Associates, which represents the former Ms Pac-Man in the divorce, reports that Pac-Man will have to pay 2 million pellets and 8 cherries a year in alimony and child support.
Atari has started rebranding Ms Pac-Man units as Miss Svarkowski. In addition to the name change there have been changes in gameplay. The third level of the game is driving to a Burger King parking lot to hand off Jr Pac-Man and Baby Pac-Man, and the 13th level is an awkward blind date with a co worker’s brother.
The new game has received rave reviews from gamers, “When I was a teenager I wanted to play a game about teenage things, like running around mazes and eating cherries. But this is a game that I can relate to more now that I am an adult.” said Miss Svarkowski fan Julie Dacka.
At press time Pac-Man who has called his treatment “worse than being eaten by a ghost”, has become a self identified Pac-Men’s Rights Activist.
