Haliburton, ON – The association representing the nation’s 50,000 clowns has condemned recent incidents of scary clowns in a fun-filled and mesmerizing press conference earlier today.
Tumbling and cartwheeling into his small chair, the President of the Canadian Association of Clowns, Booboo the Clown, distanced his organization and other practicing clowns with recent incidents of scary clowns attempting to lure children into wooded areas and frightening motorists.
“These are acts of dreadful terror; these phony fools have made a great error,” rhymed Booboo while tying together a balloon animal that resembled a hippopotamus. “The Clown Code of Kindness and Respect we must always keep; these frightful non-clowns are making me sob and weep.”
The President interrupted his organization’s position on the topic to perform a card trick and then sprayed a journalist with his squirting flower boutonniere.
“So, yes, these people are terrible and we condemn all acts clown-related terrorism.”
At the same time, the Canadian Brotherhood of Mimes released a video condemning the mischievous clowns with strong body motions including being trapped in a cube and pulling a rope.
