By: Donald Trump
There’s been a lot of talk about Hillary Clinton this week, and how she’s the first ever woman to be nominated for president of the United States of America. Well I’m here to say what we all know: that I was the first ever female nominee for president. Well, maybe you didn’t know that if you’re not so smart. But I wouldn’t know, because I don’t spend time with not smart people. Trust me, I’d know. I talk to a lot of real morons every day.
Everyone knows what a fantastic woman presidential nominee I was back in the 90s. Just the best. Add that to the list of things Crooked Hillary is lying to you about. Let’s list them: Benghazi, her emails, and how Donald Trump was the first and number one best women who’s ever been nominated for president by a major political party.
People are talking about how Hillary has broken the glass ceiling, and it’s like, hello? I broke that ceiling way back. Smashed, it’s gone, it’s in pieces. Only, I then replaced it with a solid gold ceiling. When you break the glass ceiling, then you have no ceiling and the rain can get in and I have a lot of very expensive rugs. I mean, I can buy new rugs. Rugs aren’t a big deal, I don’t care about rugs. But I like these rugs, so I put in a new gold glass ceiling. Maybe that’s the ceiling that Hillary broke, but that’s not nearly as impressive. And in that case, Hillary owes me a new set of rugs.
The fact that the Democrats want to ignore what an outstanding woman nominee I was just shows you how bad they are for women and how great I am for women, as someone who was a women back when he was a presidential nominee in the 80s. All while I was running the business too, except that I was a man when I was running the business because that’s not the kind of thing you want to trust a woman with unless that woman is me and is running for president but not in that particular case.
Some people–you know the kind–they’re saying “but Mr. Trump, you weren’t a presidential candidate before 2016” or “Mr. Trump, you were never a woman.” But that’s not really important. All this talk about details, it’s loser talk. It’s not winner talk. Except for the fact that I was the first. That’s a great detail. I really love that detail.
