OSHAWA, ON – Despite searching through the recently leaked Panama Papers for shell companies, looking into offshore banks, and checking for any potential money laundering operations, the CRA has yet to figure out where Sweet Dreams Inc. is hiding its profits.
“It just makes no sense,” said lead investigator Michael Harris as he sifted through thousands of documents that indicated Sweet Dreams CEO Donald Richardson must have undisclosed funds. “Where could someone hide that much hard cash?”
The CRA was alerted to the potential tax evasion by an anonymous whistleblower who instructed the tax agency that the missing funds would be “right under their nose”. After hours of fruitless searching, Harris says he’s just about ready to give up.
“Well maybe they just didn’t make any money this year,” said Harris as he watched three large men load a dozen mattresses into an armored truck. “It wouldn’t be surprising, these mattresses are incredibly lumpy.”
This is the second time Sweet Dreams has been under fire after previously being investigated, and cleared, for smuggling glossy pornographic magazines.
