OAKVILLE—Sources confirm that throughout a job interview earlier today local woman Carol Miller continually referred to her six-month pregnancy as a hearty lunch unlikely to require her to take any time off work.
Miller, 29, reportedly began her interview for the position of senior sales manager with a warm handshake and the remark, “What a great neighbourhood—and that sandwich shop across the road might be a little too great,” while laughing and gesturing to her 47-inch waist.
Throughout the ninety-minute meeting, sources say Miller was frequently able to link anecdotes about her leadership, adaptability, and interpersonal skills to the quantity of food she had eaten before the interview, painting a picture of a smart, dedicated employee whose midsection could be distended for any number of reasons.
“So by going the extra mile to ensure a customer was satisfied, I helped my team exceed their target sales for the month,” she said, adding hurriedly “not unlike I exceeded my target food intake at lunch today! Ha!”
She then gently patted the flesh surrounding her six-month old fetus, whom she planned on naming “Andrew” if it was a boy and “Caitlin” if it was a girl.
Reached for comment, Miller was cautiously optimistic. “I really, really need this job, especially with the baby on the way. I think I did a pretty good job of highlighting my suitability for the role and commitment to building a career with the company. So hopefully they view me as a good investment.”
She added slowly, “And, I mean . . . I actually did eat a big lunch today, so . . . I wasn’t lying.”
At press time one of Miller’s interviewers, Sarah Cremley, had been referring to the children in the photo on her desk as her “nephews” for eight years.
