MONTREAL — Today, thousands of visitors to the Montreal Botanical Garden found themselves in disbelief after a man voted by Cult MTL readers as “#1 local monster, baby punter, and all around piece-of-shit”, Jerry Ferguson, somehow managed to obtain all of the legal permits and licenses required to open a salad bar in the center of the Alpine Garden exhibit.
When asked to comment on the public’s outrage, Ferguson had only this to say:
“I feel nothing.”
At press time, Jerry “Dick Fuck” Ferguson had just announced plans to purchase and convert the Farine Five Roses mill into a clothing factory, specializing in puppy-fur coats for racist elderly people.
