GERMANY – A new initiative by the Tory government seeking to outlaw travel to nations with terrorist activity has successfully forced 27 year-old extremist, Fadi Zubeidi, to book a non-direct flight to Syria.
“Well that sure was annoying,” said Zubeidi as a he completed the minor task of altering his itinerary. “Ugh, and now I’ve got to pay Air Canada fifty bucks for a re-booking fee? Geez.”
Zubeidi is just one of a very small group of radicalized Muslim youth affected by the Tory travel ban. While at first glance the policy may not look like much of a deterrent, Zubeidi says it nearly prevented him from following through on his dream to fight for the Islamic State.
“As a zealot willing to give his life to the jihad of the caliphate and the eventual bringing about of the end times, travel is a really big pet-peeve of mine,” explained Zubeidi. “I am willing to sacrifice my life and the lives of my loved ones for Allah, but there’s no way am I spending 3 extra hours in an airport eating Cinnabon and watching CNN.”
Zubeidi went on to describe how his fellow extremists had been forced to give up on terrorism after the implementation of the travel ban.
“Ahmad was all prepared for a simple 12-hour direct flight to Syria. Then here comes this new ban and suddenly it’s 15-hours with a stopover in Turkey, or 17-hours with an overnight in Crete,” said Zubeidi. “Because of these inconveniences he was forced to give up his extremist lifestyle. I think he’s a youth pastor now.”
At press time, Zubeidi was frantically searching his house for a travel toothbrush.
