NATIONWIDE – With Caitlyn Jenner’s courageous gender transition making worldwide headlines, the nation is just desperately trying to keep Uncle Dave from sharing his opinions on the issue with anyone.
“Caitlyn Jenner? Well just let me tell you a little something about Caitlyn Jenner,” Uncle Dave started, before Sandra Greene of Biggar, Sk. brought up his ex-wife Jolene as a surefire way to change the subject.
Dave, 46, still seems to be invited to most of the nation’s family functions, despite the fact that he seems to be offensively wrong about everything it is possible to be wrong about, and even some things where the concept of truth value does not seem to apply.
“Yesterday, he told me about what kinds of rocks were for homos,” said Gene Lau of Corner Brook, NL. “What could that possibly even mean?”
Although there have been more and more close calls as Dave has pounded a growing number of cans of Busch, so far the country has managed to stop him from running his dumb hick mouth about Caitlyn Jenner.
“Every time he gets close, you just have to steer the conversation back to Obama,” said Jacques Valmont, of Drummondville, Qc. “Usually, that’ll buy you a good fifteen minutes.”
“Well not ‘good’. Tolerable.”
Experts have recommended the nation just ride this out for a few more hours, because after that it won’t have to see him again until its cousin’s wedding in July.
