PRINCE GEORGE – RCMP have arrested seven radicalized eco-terrorists in connection to a plot to plant trees near an oil sands pipeline.
The trees were said to pose as a barricade to future pipeline development.
“We apprehended the suspects just as they were carrying out their plot,” announced RCMP Sgt Rick Hughes. “However, these vicious, compost-loving fanatics were under surveillance for more than five years. They read extremists literature such as Silent Spring, participated in loud and frightening protests and listened to the fiery eco-mullah, David Suzuki. They often distributed recycling propaganda and posed a significant threat to the automobile economy by not driving a car.”
According to sources, the RCMP placed a mole inside their Vancouver-based ‘Friends of the Earth’ community group who spent two years gaining the group’s trust by being a strong advocate of animal rights and eating tofu.
“When it came time for the group to acquire the terror seedlings, the undercover officer replaced the 300 aspen, pine and spruce saplings with fake ones,” added Hughes.
The RCMP stressed that not all environmentalists are terrorists or radicalized, but stated that nature-friendly community needs to do more to prevent future plots.