WHISTLER, B.C. – Colleagues and casual acquaintances have agreed that, despite immense wealth and the jaw line of a young George Clooney, local man Hunt Delaney is probably quite sad and lonely in private, at least if there is any justice in the world.
“Sure he makes a lot of money and his last girlfriend looked like someone brought Jessica Rabbit to life,” said mailroom worker Stephen Smith as he wiped poo off his baby daughter’s upper leg, “but when you look into his gorgeous blue eyes, you can really convince yourself there is some misery in there.”
“Maybe because he never got to experience the joy of having children himself,” he added over his daughter’s screams.
Though Delaney has never overtly displayed emotions of regret or remorse to those around him, everyone agreed it would be pretty fucking unfair if he wasn’t at least a little messed up inside.
“I mean, there is no way he is actually happy driving around in his sports car, banging models and perfecting his six-pack right? Then everything Christmas movies have taught me would be a lie,” said friend Jeff Miller.
“One time I thought I had caught him in a down moment. He was standing off by himself with a glass of scotch, just gazing out a window. It seemed like an existential crisis, like maybe he was realizing all his wealth and charm were only surface deep, and he had failed to find the greater meaning all of us are searching for. Then I heard him say ‘Nice!’ to himself and I realized he was just checking out his reflection in the window pane.”
At press time Delaney was uncorking a bottle of crystal with a gorgeous young lady, and was not even remotely concerned about his relationship with his father.
