WOODBRIDGE, ON – Sources inside DHP Logistics Ltd. report that unpaid intern Steve Daniels, 26, is organizing the company’s annual, $100,000.00 holiday soiree
“This will be a great opportunity for me to demonstrate my value to the company,” said the young newly minted MA who was doing unpaid work in the hope that it would some day pay off with a position in the glamorous, ultra competitive human resources industry.
Daniels had already made arrangements for catering and a venue, and was proud that he had so far managed to keep costs to only twice the salary he would be making if he were actually paid for his labour and time like his older counterparts.
“The key to any great party is an open bar. The employees work hard all year, and they expect to only pay my annual salary, a.k.a. nothing, for drinks,” added Daniels, who will not be entitled to the open bar himself as he was not a full time employee.
Supervisor Ryan Ferguson, 56, who had originally obtained Daniels’ job with only a BA and was paid $20 000 a year before promoted out of the responsibilities, stated Daniels’ performance was good, but not quite up to the standard required to actually be hired.
“He came up and asked me if the company could help cover some so-called ‘transportation costs’. I have no tolerance for these millennials and their entitlement,” said Ferguson about the intern whose dinner last night consisted of half a box of Triscuits. “When I was his age, I was able to work part-time and afford a car, so why can’t he?”
At press time, Daniels was hoping to snag a couple of drink tickets and the guy serving canapes had a fucking PhD.
