NORTH CHRISTMASLAND – A team of economists have released a report detailing an impending price drop in the gingerbread housing market.
“Gingerbread families can’t afford the mortgages bakeries are selling them, because most of them are just seasonal workers,” said University of Sugarplum Fairy economist Dr. Marzipan Frostingstein. “Many of them are also on disability, because last week Uncle Gary got drunk and snacky.”
This expected downturn has also literally begun to eat into the profits of home-improvement entrepreneurs looking to purchase and flip cheap housing.
“We installed new gumdrop lamps and a hot fudge tub, hoping to sell the house for 20 or 30 of those little silver confectionary balls,” said Candy Dandy Sugarbutt. “Now I’ve lost everything, and I have to support my family by sucking pixie stick down on Cinnamon Heart alley.”
“If my face wasn’t permanently pasted in this icing smile, you would be able to see my deep depression,” he added, smiling.
The collapse of the gingerbread housing market is only the latest blow to hit a country already ravaged by the Candy Cane King, and his army of child toy soldiers: a surprisingly dark military force for such a colourful character who also speaks in rhyme.
At press time, property values in the area had been further depreciated by the threat of spills from the Northern Eggnog Pipeline.
