VICTORIA – Inspired by the shocking revelations about America’s obesity epidemic exposed on the recently released documentary Fed Up, local woman Jessica Hopkins totally transformed her eating habits for the duration of the 92-minute film.
“It’s amazing how many lies [the food lobbyists] spew,” said Hopkins, having adamantly refused to eat the bag of Fuzzy Peaches she had purchased before the film until she found them again in her purse the following day. “They replace all the fat from low-fat foods with sugar and then they try to brainwash our children with their advertisements.”
“It’s disgusting,” added Hopkins, before taking a bite out of the Mars bar she had thrown out half an hour into the movie and then picked up from the garbage can when it ended.
Witnesses in the theatre report that Hopkins “grimaced, gasped and laughed in disbelief” numerous times during the movie before telling her friends that she was “starving” and wanted to “go to wherever is fast and convenient” as soon as the credits began to roll. A sources close to Hopkins also claims that her son “almost didn’t get ice cream that night.”
Hopkins’ viewing of Fed Up was not the first time she was persuaded to make dire changes to her lifestyle. The previous year an unnerving PSA on recycling prompted her to place her used water bottles in the blue bin at least twice that same week.
