KINGSTON – Canadian institutions of higher learning are welcoming new frosh this week by teaching them the importance of conformity without critical evaluation at the postsecondary level.
Thousands of spirited adolescents will be oriented in wearing identical t-shirts or jumpsuits, singing chants about sexual exploitation, instilling a sense of loyalty to an institution that leaves them in significant financial debt and group hazing which is also known as “tradition” or “fun.”
“This isn’t high school anymore,” said 18 year old Charisa del Laroussi who plans on getting shitfaced every night so she can fit in with her peers. “When someone tells us to roll in mud or drink a bottle of mustard, we do it because we’re in university.”
At press time, frosh groups were competing to see which group was the loudest at yelling.
