BY: HON JULIAN FANTINO, MINISTER OF VETERAN AFFAIRS
It is critical to provide veterans with the facts about the benefits and services that are available to them so they may get the help they need. But it is even more critical to make one thing clear: lately I feel less like the Minister for Veteran Affairs, and more like the Minister for the Whining Pussy Brigade.
I must have missed the part of the Canadian Armed Forces brochure advertising ‘round the clock foot rubs and pink fluffy tea parties. Here I thought my ministerial position was to oversee men. Real men. And maybe a couple of butch ladies. But no, all I hear are sucky babies crying about “I’m too injured to find a job” or “wah wah, my war buddy was too poor to afford a dignified burial.”
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the Canadian Armed Forces included the Girl Guides!
Now you’re upset because some “Veterans watchdog” says half of Canada’s wounded veterans aren’t getting any disability cheques at all? Boo-effin’-hoo. Suck it up and walk it off. Or, depending on your mobility, roll it off.
So you can’t take care of yourself, just because you’ve got shrapnel in the knee or some so-called PTSD? Well, look at me. I’ve been consistently rewarded and promoted my entire career, in spite of being functionally incompetent. All it takes it a little grit, determination, and never letting human decency affect my bottom line.
Try it sometime, cupcakes.
Finally, let me reacquaint you with something from your military days, called the chain of command. I “command” you to acknowledge that the Federal Conservatives give veterans plenty of benefits, and you’d better hope I don’t “chain”-ge my mind about those!
These are facts, not myths, and these initiatives will help veterans across Canada. Unless they’re too sissy to understand what a real man has to say.
