BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – Following the suspension of Russian President Vladimir Putin from the Group of Eight, meetings between the world leaders have become “stiff”, “overly business-like”, and “much less enjoyable.”brus
“It used to be that when things got too heavy, Vlad would always be the guy to break the tension,” said French Prime Minister Francois Hollande. “He’d be the one to tell the waiters it was Obama’s birthday again, or to crack us all up with some hilarious story about his KGB days.”
Hollande is not alone in his opinion.
“These summits just aren’t the same without The Poot,” said Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. “No one can beat Angela Merkel in drinking games anymore, and all of a sudden, David Cameron thinks he’s the funny one. If I hear one more pun, I’m starting World War Three.”
Currently, filling the void left by Putin in their group dynamic has become issue number one among the remaining members of the G7.
“Without Putin, we’re just a bunch of politicians,” said Angela Merkel. “We’ve been thinking about maybe bringing in Kim Jong Un, or Recep Erdogan, you know, so I’m not the only one with any balls around here.”
At press time, Prime Minister Harper was reportedly thinking of ways he could also get kicked out of the G8, so that he could see if Putin wanted to hang out.
