CANADA – Despite the fact that their cell phones have become obviously unhygienic, the nation is too paralyzed by ignorance to take steps to clean them.
“I don’t have greasy skin or hair, so how does it get like this?” said Charlottetown, PEI, wiping its fingers on its jeans. “I’ve contacted dermatologists and tech people: everybody has the same problem and nobody knows what to do.”
Sources inside the country say that water will ruin the phone without cutting the oil, that a cloth only seems to spread the grease around, and that should they use windex, or something, they’re starting to get pretty desperate and freaked-out about this whole situation.
This is not the first time the country has found itself in an electronics crisis. Last spring, all 38.8 million citizens were forced to buy new computers when the screens on their old ones became too dusty to see through.
