PYONGYANG – North Korea’s supreme leader Kim Jong-un has bragged to Western leaders about his country’s resoundingly low obesity rate.
“The Americans tremble at the ferocity of our citizens’ pristine health!” roared the 31 year-old dictator through a state media broadcast. “The People’s Republic of Korea remain physically slim with an invincible spirit and ready to fight its foes. This is much unlike the hefty Americans and their allies that would rather horde the fatty foods of capitalism such as meat, vegetables and other staples.”
A state led survey of North Korean citizens revealed only 0.000001% of the population is overweight or obese. That one individual is said to be a very, very high ranking leader in the regime.
Kim credits this record to his Five Year No Diet Plan and mandatory mass gymnastics.
At press time, citizens were preparing a glorious parade to honour the Supreme Leader’s achievement in state-wide undernourishment.
