OTTAWA – NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk have announced their desire to find a less depressing and tedious namesake for the Ottawa based hockey team.
“We expect certain standards of honor and integrity from our teams,” Bettman stated, “and labeling players as Senators does not meet the ideals of the NHL.”
Behind the talk of ideals lies the distressing economic effect of the organization’s association with the Canadian Senate.
“Attendance has dropped significantly since this Senate mess began,” bemoaned Melnyk. “And when fans do come, many dress as Mike Duffy and steal from our concession tills.”
Bettman and Melnyk are now encouraging fans to write the organization with suggestions for alternatives to the team’s current dispiriting emblem.
The current front runners for the new team name are: the 1812ers, the Bureaucrats, and the Pro-Rogues.
