REGINA – Despite having spent most of his life professing his antipathy for Abrahamic religions and staunchly denying the existence of any sort of deity, yesterday local atheist Hank Tremblay became a Jehovah’s Witness following an encounter with the most “jaw-droppingly beautiful” evangelist he had ever seen.
“I used to think that the notion of a personal god was completely ridiculous,” said Tremblay. “But those angelic dimples, those divine blue eyes, that celestial smile… I think I found Her.”
“There must be a heaven,” he added.
Mary, the Jehovah’s Witness who enticed Tremblay, expressed hopes that he can be one of the 144,000 who get to “enter in the bosom of the Lord God,” but that, if not, her own bosom is “also available.”
At press time, Tremblay was hastily hiding his copies of The Watchtower, not returning Mary’s calls and considering a circumcision after meeting a gorgeous Jewish girl.
