Great news everyone! Just like other friendly media sites who exist to remind you of pop culture moments you vaguely enjoyed while selling you a mattress in a box, we’ve gone ahead and fired all …
Tag: Writers
Portraits Of Canadiocity: Margaret Atwood
Margaret Atwood, a great Canadian writer hiding a terrible secret.…
Novelists warn about drug-resistant strain of writer’s block
TORONTO – After warnings issued by the World Health Organization, Canadian writers are now reporting cases of a strain of writer’s block resistant to alcohol, amphetamines, and other broad-spectr…
Fabio announces plans to not stand shirtless on a mountaintop
MILAN – In a startling career move, the Italian model, spokesman and actor Fabio Lanzoni announced earlier today that his next project would be to not stand topless on the peak of a mountai…
Reader surprised to discover Hemingway’s ‘Farewell to Arms’ not about author’s loss of limbs
Surrey, BC – Readers everywhere were shocked when they realized that Ernest Hemingway’s classic war novel A Farewell to Arms was not about the graphic loss of the author’s limbs. “A l…
Stop blaming society, it’s your own damn fault you choose to read my articles
BY MARGARET WENTE Nobody takes responsibility for their actions anymore: if you earn 30% less than men, it’s the patriarchy’s fault; if you get arrested in Egypt, it’s the Egyptian government’s f…
Canadians pretending to have read Alice Munro in massive numbers
OTTAWA — With the news that Alice Munro has won the Nobel Prize for literature, Canadians from coast to coast are now pretending to have read her collected works in record figures. ‘The Vie…
As Breaking Bad ends, office coffee machine prepares for life of loneliness
MONTREAL – The coffee machine at Boundless Publishing where, for the better part of six years, everyone stood around discussing Breaking Bad, is prepared for a solitary post-Walter White ex…
Jack Ryan to avenge Tom Clancy’s death
BALTIMORE – After the passing of renowned author of several espionage and military thrillers, CIA analyst Jack Ryan is vowing revenge on whoever killed him. “Tom was one of my most trusted …
I write horror stories because the real horror is society
By Derek Darklord Greetings, fellow-travellers down the night-highway of the macabre. I, of course, am Derek Darklord, and You, of course, will recognize my name from the covers of your favourite…