“I can’t wait to lay out a series of pragmatic proposals that people will respond to, and see Pierre ignore them in favour of an ‘owning the libs’ game plan yet again.R…
Tag: Ukraine
Marco Rubio reveals Ukraine Peace Plan confusion caused by trip to Liquor Dome
HALIFAX – U.S. lawmakers attending the Halifax International Security Forum reveal that confusion around a leaked peace plan for Ukraine were caused by Secretary of State Marco Rubio spendi…
Trump says Ukraine can have all its occupied territory back if it beats Putin’s offer
NEW YORK CITY – In a private meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymr Zelenskyy, US President Donald Trump stated he fully believes the embattled nation can take back all of its territory …
Trump demands 20% gratuity for selling Ukraine to Putin
ANCHORAGE, AK – International political observers are stunned today after U.S. President Donald Trump made the controversial move of asking Russian President Vladimir Putin for a 20% gratui…
Ovechkin dedicates his record-breaking goal to the brave men and women bombing Ukrainian hospitals
NEW YORK CITY – Alexander Ovechkin has scored his 895th career goal, surpassing Wayne Gretzky’s record and making him first all-time among NHL superstars with terrible personal politics. Ovechki…
Zelensky pretty sure disgraceful meeting could have been disgraceful email
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following an explosive White House meeting that saw President Trump berate the visiting Ukrainian president and push Russian talking points, Zelenskyy opined that the enti…
Trudeau invites Zelensky to friendly pick-your-brain coffee chat about being invaded by warmongering neighbour
KYIV, UKRAINE – Citing a desire to “connect face to face”, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau recently reached out to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy with an aim to “share some …
US, Russia commence Ukraine Piece Talks, where Ukraine will be carved into pieces
RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA – Representatives from the United States and Russia met today to commence their “Ukraine Piece Talks” summit, wherein the two autocrat-led nations will disc…
Ukraine begs Canada not to donate Canadian military tanks
KYIV – Ukrainian officials swiftly backtracked on requests for Canadian military aid after learning that Canada planned to send them tanks belonging to the Canadian Armed Forces. Following …
Danielle Smith apologises for not condensing her many apologies into a single efficient apology
EDMONTON – Premier Danielle Smith has held a press conference apologising for the inefficiency of her recent apologies. “I apologised for parroting pro-Putin talking points about Ukraine, and I k…
