OTTAWA – Shortly after the resignation of Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird, the Harper government has introduced his seven-foot-eight, 482-pound successor, the Honourable Mungo. “Haurrgh…
Tag: thomas mulcair
Mulcair: An NDP federal government has never run a deficit
OTTAWA – NDP Leader Thomas Mulcair is touting his party’s experience as sound fiscal managers by promoting the fact that his party has never run a federal deficit. “The New Democratic Party…
Harper authorizes use of CF-18s for Question Period
OTTAWA – In response to increasing instability, Prime Minister Stephen Harper authorized the deployment of Canada’s fleet of CF-18s to the combat aggressive insurgent forces present in Ques…
Paul Calandra answers questions about Iraq with squash soup recipe
OTTAWA – Paul Calandra recited ingredients from his favourite squash soup recipe this morning after he was asked by NDP leader Tom Mulcair to give information about Canada’s deploymen…
The guy who replaced Jack Layton to wear name tag
OTTAWA – In an effort to get Canadians accustomed to his name, the Official Opposition Leader who replaced the late Jack Layton will now be wearing a name tag during working hours. “Canadia…
Harper reveals Canadian Ministry of Magic, announces sweeping cuts
OTTAWA – At a press conference today Prime Minister Stephen Harper made two announcements: first, he revealed the astounding truth of a government department that oversees Canada’s various …
Harper hopes cyberbullying law puts an end to circulating snapchats of Mulcair’s nipple
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Harper announced in a press conference yesterday that he sincerely hopes his anti-cyberbullying bill will end the disturbing stream of continuous and aggressive Snap…
I preferred Question Period on Twitter because the decorum was better and I got to do it naked
By Thomas Mulcair, Leader of the Opposition Now that the House is back in session I’ve come to a conclusion. I was sitting in QP (what we pros call Question Period), and realized that it was a lo…
Spooky Harper government opens haunted House of Commons
OTTAWA – Lineups have already begun to form in front of the Parliament buildings after Prime Minister Harper’s midnight announcement that the terrifying haunted House of Commons would…
Mulcair discovers that he is too bearded to approach children in park
KANATA — After a very awkward 5 minutes in a Kanata playground, Thomas Mulcair came to the realization that his beard disturbs families and scares children. “Well,” a forlorn Mu…