OTTAWA — Tonight, the federal party leaders will meet in Calgary to participate in a debate on the economy sponsored by the Globe and Mail. And while they disagree on most issues, there is …
Tag: Stephen Harper
Election Profile: Conservative Party Platform
Can the Conservatives pull off a fourth mandate? Here’s how they intend on doing it: Key Beliefs: Nobody’s business, that’s what Policy Priorities: Delivering a budget that is balanced in e…
Tories polling strongly among nation’s that-one-friend-on-Facebook
OTTAWA – A poll conducted among the that-one-unbearable-person-on-Facebook demographic has shown that the Conservative party is polling above 95%. “Polls of people with any basic decency sh…
New polls definitively show NDP will win or lose
CANADA – Newly released polls are showing that the NDP have a very strong chance of winning the upcoming federal election, and simultaneously no chance at all. “The NDP have been poll…
Harper polling well in sought-after ‘corrupt’ demographic
OTTAWA – As the senate expense trial continues, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has seen his support drop in most demographics, but he has also seen a steep rise among Canada’s corrupt. “Some…
Harper pledges all Conservative candidates will be potty trained by time they take office
OTTAWA — Following the resignation of a Toronto candidate this weekend, the Conservative Party of Canada has pledged all future candidates will be ethical, upstanding citizens who know how to use…
Harper renames Mount Logan to Mount Denial
WHITEHORSE – Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has officially changed the name of Mount Logan to Mount Denial when he visited the Yukon capital city earlier this week. The announcement comes…
Harper tells unemployed that they only ‘technically’ lost their jobs
EDMONTON — Speaking to dozens of unemployed oilsands workers, Prime Minister Stephen Harper explained that the workers maybe ‘technically’ unemployed, but in reality they are &#…
Harper defends current chief of staff stating he’s at least a year away from prosecution
OTTAWA — Prime Minister Stephen Harper defended his current chief of staff’s involvement in the Duffy affair stating that he’s still got plenty of time before authorities catch up to him. H…
Stephen Harper offers cursing supporter Senate appointment
TORONTO – During a campaign stop reporters asking questions about the Duffy scandal were cursed at by a Harper supporter, before he was removed and offered a seat in the Senate. “I spoke to…