OTTAWA – PM Justin Trudeau is reconsidering unmuzzling Canada’s scientists after a one-sided conversation about a rare New Zealand seaweed went on for more than 180 minutes. “Listen, I’m tr…
Tag: Stephen Harper
Conservatives once again appoint a woman to clean up their mess
OTTAWA — Keeping a longstanding tradition alive that dates back to 1993, the Conservative Party has selected woman MP Rona Ambrose to tidy up the mess left by patriarch Stephen Harper. “The…
Fuck you
BY: RT. HON. STEPHEN HARPER, FORMER PRIME MINISTER OF CANADA As my final act as Prime Minister of Canada, there is something I would like to express to all Canadians from coast-to-coast-to-coast;…
50% female cabinet appointments lead to 5000% increase in guys who suddenly care about merit in cabinet
OTTAWA – With Prime Minister designate Justin Trudeau preparing to announce a cabinet that is 50% women, researchers have discovered a sharp 5000% increase in the number of men who suddenly…
City of Calgary to rename unemployment office after Stephen Harper
CALGARY – City officials have announced that they will move to rename the municipal office that handles employment insurance and welfare claims after soon to be former Prime Minister Stephe…
Benjamin Netanyahu claims Hitler was ‘just following orders’
JERUSALEM – At a meeting of the World Zionist Congress in Jerusalem this week, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu claimed that Adolf Hitler was ‘just following orders’ from Haj Amin al-Hus…
Sun newspapers still reporting Harper majority
Despite the results being posted two days ago, Sun newspaper outlets have steadfastly denied the existence of a Liberal majority government and have continued to assume Conservative leader Stephe…
Tearful Stephen Harper boards spaceship for return to home planet
CALGARY – Following Stephen Harper’s emotional concession speech Monday night, hundreds of Conservative Party supporters claimed to have seen a massive blue object launching from Harp…
90-year-old who has never voted proudly casts first ballot for Social Credit party
WINNIPEG – For the first time in his long life, habitual abstainer Jack Pilman will cast a ballot in a Canadian election, throwing his support behind the Social Credit party. “Normally I ju…
Die hard Conservative changes vote after being called “Asshole” on Facebook
MEDICINE HAT, AB – Local welder and Tory supporter Greg Rashovich has abruptly decided to switch his vote to the NDP party after being called an “asshole” on Facebook via status updates, bl…