OTTAWA – Former Prime Minister and maniacal rejecter of the Kyoto Protocol Stephen Harper has kept a low profile since October, but was found early this morning chained to a police station …
Tag: Stephen Harper
MPs line up to sit on Supreme Court Justices’ laps to ask what laws they want struck down for Christmas
OTTAWA — In a tradition that is as old as Ottawa, 338 excited MPs lined up at the Supreme Court to ask the justices what laws they want struck down or amended for Christmas. Dressed in thei…
Trudeau considers re-muzzling scientists after 3 hour conversation about rare seaweed
OTTAWA – PM Justin Trudeau is reconsidering unmuzzling Canada’s scientists after a one-sided conversation about a rare New Zealand seaweed went on for more than 180 minutes. “Listen, I’m tr…
Conservatives once again appoint a woman to clean up their mess
OTTAWA — Keeping a longstanding tradition alive that dates back to 1993, the Conservative Party has selected woman MP Rona Ambrose to tidy up the mess left by patriarch Stephen Harper. “The…
Fuck you
BY: RT. HON. STEPHEN HARPER, FORMER PRIME MINISTER OF CANADA As my final act as Prime Minister of Canada, there is something I would like to express to all Canadians from coast-to-coast-to-coast;…
50% female cabinet appointments lead to 5000% increase in guys who suddenly care about merit in cabinet
OTTAWA – With Prime Minister designate Justin Trudeau preparing to announce a cabinet that is 50% women, researchers have discovered a sharp 5000% increase in the number of men who suddenly…
City of Calgary to rename unemployment office after Stephen Harper
CALGARY – City officials have announced that they will move to rename the municipal office that handles employment insurance and welfare claims after soon to be former Prime Minister Stephe…
Benjamin Netanyahu claims Hitler was ‘just following orders’
JERUSALEM – At a meeting of the World Zionist Congress in Jerusalem this week, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu claimed that Adolf Hitler was ‘just following orders’ from Haj Amin al-Hus…
Sun newspapers still reporting Harper majority
Despite the results being posted two days ago, Sun newspaper outlets have steadfastly denied the existence of a Liberal majority government and have continued to assume Conservative leader Stephe…
Tearful Stephen Harper boards spaceship for return to home planet
CALGARY – Following Stephen Harper’s emotional concession speech Monday night, hundreds of Conservative Party supporters claimed to have seen a massive blue object launching from Harp…
