LANSING, SOUTH DAKOTA — 25 year old business administrator Jayson Milnerd has once again expressed astonishment that his Trump-supporting father is “so ignorant” as to fall for a multibilli…
Tag: Russia
Mueller attaches literal smoking gun to report just to keep those fuckers happy
Washington D.C.— Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller has reportedly taken the unprecedented step of appending a recently used Colt 45 to his special report to U.S. Attorney General William Barr in …
Totally Retro! US kicks it old school with dangerous arms race against Russia
It’s like, time to get totally radical because the United States government is returning to the 80’s with neon colours, Duran Duran and no treaties to prevent nuclear war. The whole thing started…
Nation forbids Mueller from playing games on his iPad until final report is handed in
Washington, DC – After the dismissal of Attorney General Jeff Sessions this week, the U.S. nation has expressed great concerns regarding the likelihood of Robert Mueller’s report on the Rus…
Trump fires Jeff Sessions as ‘treat to self’ after 6 days without constitutional crisis
WASHINGTON D.C. — United States Attorney General Jeff Sessions has resigned at the president’s request, a move Trump took as a reward to himself after lasting 6 whole days since his last co…
Ukraine changes national anthem to ‘I kraine, you kraine, we all kraine for Ukraine’
KIEV – In a move that has Ukrainians hopeful for greater unity and world respect, the Ukrainian parliament has voted 412-38 to change the national anthem to a new song, entitled: I kraine, …
Rise in conspiracy theories revealed to be driven by corkboard, string manufacturers
WASHINGTON D.C. — A federal task force has determined that the recent rise in online conspiracy theories has in fact been a well-coordinated plot by several powerful corporations designed t…
America divided over meeting between their leader and President Trump
HELSINKI, FINLAND- Tensions continue to rise in America in the wake of a private meeting between President Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, Supreme Ruler of the United States. Supreme Ruler Putin…
BREAKING: France okay with certain immigrants
MOSCOW, RUSSIA – After a high scoring 4 – 2 victory over Croatia in the 2018 World Cup finals, the entire nation of France announced Sunday that it finally embrace certain immigrants,…
Facebook dating algorithm to find the perfect match for your carefully curated online persona
SILICON VALLEY – Taking a break from helping the Russian government tamper with American elections, Facebook has pivoted into the dating sphere, utilizing their infamous data collection to …