NEW YORK — In a loud and unpleasant conversation with reporters, US presidential candidate Donald J. Trump defended statements made earlier in the week in which he said he was open to the i…
Tag: Republican Party
If the dinosaurs had been armed, they wouldn’t be extinct right now
BY DR. BEN CARSON, U.S. PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE For the past few years, the Second Amendment rights of all U.S. citizens have been under attack by gun control lobbyists, who would see America stri…
Carly Fiorina vows to end funding for Planned Parenthood baby BBQs
WASHINGTON – Currently polling at 2nd place in the Republican Primary race, Carly Fiorina vowed that if elected, she would personally end funding for Planned Parenthood’s “widely-known prac…
Trump announces running mate will be solid gold statue of Donald Trump
NEW YORK – Following the GOP debate this week, Donald Trump has announced that, if he is selected as the Republican candidate for President, his running mate will be a solid gold statue of …
Donald Trump creating divide in GOP between racists and secret racists
Boise, Idaho — The results of a new poll released Friday suggest that Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is creating a divide in the GOP between its traditional base of overt ra…
Panicked nation realizes it exhausted supply of Donald Trump jokes in 2012
WASHINGTON – Comedy experts have been placed on red alert following the surprise candidacy announcement of Donald Trump, upon whom America depleted its entire stockpile of Trump-related jok…
Republicans looking forward to using less racism, more sexism
WASHINGTON D.C. – In the wake of Hillary Clinton’s announcement that she will be running for President of the United States of America, many Republicans are relieved that they will be able …
House Republicans sue Obama for emotional distress brought on by his presidency
WASHINGTON D.C. – Leaders of the Congressional Republicans recently announced their intention to commence a lawsuit against President Barack Obama over the severe psychological harm and anx…
Paul Ryan to climb own widow’s peak
JANESVILLE, WI – Paul Ryan, the notoriously athletic and daring former vice-presidential candidate, has chosen to relax from the grueling campaign trail by taking on the monumental task of …
Mitt Romney divorces wife to marry corporation
MANCHESTER, N.H. – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced he is divorcing his wife of 40 years to marry a corporation with whom he has had a love affair over the last seven…