WINNIPEG – Local woman Anna Saab was devastated to learn Thursday that her ex-boyfriend, Antoine Girard, was found alive, still residing in her town, and happy. The former couple ended thei…
Tag: relationships
Winter boyfriends released back into the wild
DAWSON, YT — With the arrival of spring in Canada’s North, males nesting with females are cast off into the unknown dating environment in a seasonal phenomenon known as the “Spr…
Date going pretty well, thinks man with laser sight trained on his center of mass
VANCOUVER – After twenty minutes of interesting and flirtatious conversation, local man Andrew Chen believes his date to be going pretty well, unaware of the fact that a red dot has been ho…
Empty shampoo bottle enters third month in shower
ABBOTSFORD, BC – Despite being void of any shampoo for the past 90 days, a 1.17 L bottle of TRESemmé shampoo still remains in a local man’s shower. The owner, Eric Mannix, has ignored pleas…
Fat guy, plus-sized woman walk through park holding hands
TORONTO – Observers at a local park yesterday watched as a really fat man walked holding hands with a curvaceous woman. “They were possibly a couple,” said one witness of the balding, overw…
Husband absent mindedly says words that will be thrown in his face for rest of life
MEDICINE HAT, AB – In between scrolling through Netflix and checking texts on his phone local man Garry Wood, 32, has casually uttered the seemingly random sequence of words that his wife, …
Report: Girlfriend still crying
A new report from behind the bathroom door has confirmed that yes, your girlfriend is still crying because of that thing you know you said and no, she won’t be stopping anytime soon. Confidential…
Lonely Woman Invents Shitty Boyfriend
VICTORIA, BC – Tired of her friends’ relationship conversations dominating group outings, local copywriter Ashley Tanner, 25, recently invented a distant and generally disappointing signifi…
Local friend busier than everyone else
TORONTO – Despite wanting to attend the engagement party of best friend Sophie Lahiri, local woman Tiffany Dale is busier than anyone else she knows and is completely unable to make the tim…
