HOLLYWOOD – A Netflix producer is facing charges after being caught dumping a number of god-awful movies into a local river. Residents began to report an excremental stench several weeks ag…
Tag: Netflix
White House sources reveal Trump still using Obama’s Netflix password
WASHINGTON D.C. – Sources inside the White House recently confirmed reports that President Donald Trump has been stealing Netflix by using former president Barack Obama’s account. The Obama…
REPORT: 93% of couples consider partner watching TV series ahead of them to be worse than cheating
OTTAWA – According to an extensive survey conducted over the past year, the average person considers the act of watching new episodes of a television series without their partner, colloquia…
Local man furious after missing child alert momentarily disrupts parade of vapid internet bullshit
Yarker, ON – This week, the Ontario cellular emergency alert system went off to the great annoyance of Peter Jenkins, who suffered a brief interruption in the stupid shit he does on the int…
Netflix greenlights reboot of 64,000-year-old cave painting
LOS GATOS, CA – Following the success of reboots/sequels like Fuller House, Gilmore Girls and Lost In Space, Netflix is now looking at humanity’s oldest artistic endeavor as a fresh yet pal…
Man who wasn’t going to leave the house anyway complains about weather
NEWMARKET – Local resident Ed Sanford has apparently seen fit to complain loudly to anyone who will listen about the foul weather outside, despite never having had any pretensions of going out an…
Study reveals ratio of “Netflix” to “chilling” at all time low
TORONTO – Shattering the expectation of internet memes everywhere, new research out of the University of Toronto indicates that full incidents of Netflix and chilling combined are at histor…
Riverdale Recap: I stopped watching but here’s what I’m pretty sure is happening
As an avid reader of Archie comics, when The CW announced that they were making a film-noir, sexy teen version of the show, I was waiting with breath that was baited. As the first season came to …
Process of choosing which movie to watch on Netflix enters third day
Belleville, Ontario – Sources report that local couple Christine Peters and Joshua Cartwright have been scrolling through Netflix, trying to settle on a movie to watch since Friday night. &…
After unveiling streaming film service Toronto public library now valued at $9.2 billion
TORONTO – Only a month after unveiling their well received streaming film service, the Toronto Public Library has been valued at just under $10,000,000,000.00 “With Netflix, Hulu, Ama…