OTTAWA – After analyzing the most recent Census data, Statistics Canada confirms that families with children under twelve years old aren’t in the mood to hear any of it, so just apologize t…
Tag: mother
BREAKING: Mother of three finally figures out how to use digital camera
THUNDER BAY, ON – After finally getting around to using her Christmas gift from ten years ago, late breaking reports indicate that mother of three Joanna Johnson, 57, has finally figured ou…
Help! I don’t know I’m a terrible parent!
Oh boy, am I in over my head! And the worst part about it? I don’t even realize it. Here I am, in the grocery store, when one of my kids asks me question. You know, the kind of basic question tha…
Sears closure leaves nation’s mothers unsure where to buy you ill-fitting pants
WINNIPEG – Sears Canada has announced plans to close down all operations, leaving the nation’s mothers at a loss for a place to purchase you irregularly sized sweaters, marked-down belts, a…
Sex robot makers are buckling to PC pressure and refusing to make one that looks exactly like my mother
By Harold Bilfat In today’s world, self-actualization is valued above all else. Political correctness tells us everyone is special, and we can be whoever we want to be. Yet, on one subject, polit…
“I didn’t touch the brownies you left on the counter, Mommy,” claims chocolate-covered Andrew Scheer
REGINA, SK – Despite chocolate smeared all over his face and hands, federal Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer insists he has no idea what happened to the freshly baked brownies his mo…
QUIZ: Are you a Cool Mom, Business Mom, Lame Mom or Infertile Aunt?
Being a modern mother is a lot of work and we often become a version of ourselves we never even knew possible! But what kind of mother are you? Maybe you’re not a mom and all. Maybe you’re an inf…
5 sexy joke Halloween costumes to spark an evening of ironic intercourse
Halloween. Pumpkins. Candy. Fun parties. And sex you as woman would otherwise feel shame for seeking out. Check out our Halloween guide below to make your perfect costume for trick-or-treating yo…
Local mom smells bar of lavender soap for 36 hours straight
HALIFAX — Local mother of three Sandy Berman had local authorities baffled last week when she stopped to smell a bar of lavender soap at a farmers’ market for over 36 consecutive hours. Wit…
Melania Trump reassures nation husband has moral agency of small boy
NEW YORK — In an interview yesterday with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, Melania Trump sought to calm public concern about her husband’s attitude toward sexual assault by reminding voters that he has the…