TORONTO – In a recent public appearance, Kathleen Wynne did that thing where she gestures with both hands again. “Oh yup, there she goes,” said local woman Jane Green. “That’s her gesture t…
Tag: Kathleen Wynne
Ontario economy booming after entire month without Liberal fuckup
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario’s economy has picked up in the last month, owing in part to the Wynne government’s recent decision to stop totally cocking things up. “Ontario is creating more jobs t…
Giving first speech at Queen’s Park, 19 year old MPP fails to hide boner
TORONTO – Newly elected MPP Sam Oosterhoff suffered his first political embarrassment this morning when was unable to hide his spontaneous erection while giving his first speech in the legi…
Ontario Liberals give up, let each school choose their own sex-ed curriculum
Aisha Alfa reports on the Kathleen Wynne government’s plan to let each school set their own sex ed curriculum, and the wildly different lesson plans that the school boards have come …
Computer illiterate Ontario government asks grade ten students to fix online literacy test
TORONTO – Ontario government officials are appealing to grade 10 students to help them fix the problems with online Ontario Secondary School Literacy Test since it crashed earlier today. Pa…
Report: Ontario Liberal throne speech somehow $120 million over budget
TORONTO – The Ontario Liberals attempt turn a new page with Ontarians hit a snag today after they somehow spent $120 million more than intended on the announcement for their Throne Speech. …
Ontario government successfully prepares generation of children who don’t know if $300 billion debt big or small
TORONTO – The emergence of EQAO test results that show half of grade 6 students failing to meet the provincial math standard has prompted the Ontario government to reveal their plan to rais…
Children shouldn’t be learning they have hoohoos and down-theres at such a young age
By PATRICK BROWN, LEADER OF THE PROGRESSIVE CONSERVATIVE PARTY OF ONTARIO The Wynne Liberals newest social experiment is teaching our innocent children about their hoohoos and down-theres when it…
Ontario government reminds drought-striken province to conserve water for Nestlé
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne has cautioned Ontarians who live in the drought-stricken regions to refrain from wasting water so that it may be bottled and sold by Nestlé. The pro…
Kathleen Wynne boosts Ontario economy with province-wide two-drink minimum
ONTARIO – In an attempt to ensure a new cash flow for the provincial government, Premier Kathleen Wynne has implemented a new policy forcing Ontarians to have two alcoholic beverages at all…
